April showers bring what...?

So this month has proved eventful in terms of strange news, new t-shirts, and just all around fun! I have a lot I want to go over today...so uhhh, pay attention!
First off I will address the new t-shirts...They are neither fun fact of the day, nor are they videogame versus life t-shirts..these are in fact just fun(ny) sayings...Hopefully you enjoy them...
Next up I must address the newest funny stories I have found in the news lately
Now ladies, you often say that all a man wants from you is sex, well the tables have turned my friends...a German man actually had to call the cops on a lady whom he took home after their first date...here is what I must say first off...the man was 43 and the lady was 47, and these people have more stamina than anyone I have ever met in my life...especially the lady...the night following their first date they had sex several times, however the next morning the lady refused to leave, because she wanted more sex, to which the man said no, he then attempted to leave his bedroom, she then decided to bar him from leaving, so he ran out on the balcony and called the cops...when the authorities arrived she THEN tried to get them to perform various sexual acts with them as well, she is now facing possible sexual assault, and illegal imprisonment...All I can say is, YOU GO GIRL! hahah that poor man...
So the next story on my raster just further proves that we as human being depend too much on our cell phones...in fact we really are losing touch with reality...A man was walking down the street and as he was typing a text to someone he ACTUALLY WALKED INTO A FULL GROWN BLACK BEAR...Now most of you reading this would probably shit yourself if that happened to you...I can't imagine how my mother would react, last time we went on vacation to Gatlinburg, Tennessee, she thought every stump in a field was a bear and would frantically roll up the windows and lock the doors...I personally just think it was rude of the guy, myself, but what does my opinion matter? I mean I was just raised with manners...luckily the man was not mauled to death, apparently the bear was having a good day...turns out he was a wanted fugitive and was too busy running from the feds to react to a man walking head on into him...the bear was being tracked by helicopter, and was later safely recaptured.
This last news story really gets me going...and lucky for us, it is in fact Easter themed. After those interesting family dinners we all sit through most of us need a good laugh....Funny enough, this one is from Germany as well....apparently a family called the police to take a prowler into custody. The couple were quoted as saying the prowler had a "striking face". He was also wearing checkered pants a yellow shirt and a backpack....I suppose he was trying to get caught? I mean I wouldn't wear such bright colors if I were prowling...status quo says black is the right color for robbing someone at night.
Any wayback to the story...the family were quite frightened so they called the police...when the authorities showed up they were staggered to find out the prowler was in fact a 6 foot tall Easter bunny statue that someone had placed outside the family's window...probably as a prank. The officers were quoted in saying "We have taken the criminal into custody, however he was not said much yet...we're still waiting for the owners to come get him"...So that's that. New t-shirts, Easter Bunny prowlers, rude men walking into a poor defenseless bear because he was too busy texting, and a sex crazed maniacal woman. Thanks for your time! Cheers Xx

Sex Crazed Woman, Innocent Bear gets ran into by rude man on cell phone, Easter bunny, the Prowler

Street Racing at it's Extremes....the Amish are Doing it Right!

Hello everyone there in the cyber world,
It's been a while. New merchandise is available for my fellow C.R.A.P. members, if you don't know what that is...then you probably won't be much interested...for those of you who are interested in a tshirt update, one will be coming shortly.
To my next topic of discussion, in strange local news I have discovered you don't need an Italian Sports Car or a Chevy pick up to get a lot of horsepower in your life...you really just need the good Amish people of Ohio. Apparently...in Ashland, Ohio they don't rely on crappy Hondas with their mufflers torn off to race...they resort to cart and buggy....that's a true show of horsepower right there! A man was charged with reckless riding for apparently "drag" racing a horse and buggy on a main state route. the 2 men involved in the race were racing to their local church and as one passed the other he clipped an oncoming vehicle...don't worry though, none of the daredevils involved in this collision were injured other than the driver who only sustained a few cuts and an extreme hit on his pride. I was jolly to know he is not the first amish man to be charged with reckless driving...not because I have anything against the amish, but because I thought mostorist...namely myself, were the only ones charged for it. But, no the amish have to deal with that pesky police quota that we all have to deal with. I think we should tip our hats to them, in a world filled with cellphones, Ipads, and other communication technology, and even cars we usually don't build ourselves they still manage to have fun and enjoy life as well. And they build their own vehicles...so kudos to them. My only concern is the poor horse who has to lug these people around...guys I understand that you work hard and play even harder...and I realize that this won't make it back to the amish, but if anyone reading this knows anyone from the good ole amish country please tell them to give those horses a little break. it's not easy pulling a carriage at top speeds! Well I suppose that's all I really have to say for the night. Cheers everyone! Xx

http://www.aolnews.com/2011/03/16/plenty-of-horsepower-amish-man-accused-of-drag-racing-in-buggy/